


no use crying over spilled milk

by bigbidumbass



Category: 1917 (Movie 2019), 1917 (Movie 2019) Actor RPF
Genre: Crack Fic, purposely bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:28:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24434335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigbidumbass/pseuds/bigbidumbass
Summary: this is a collection of all the crack fics i've written for 1917. i BEG you do not take them seriously. oh my god. have at it then
Relationships: George MacKay/ OFC, mackenzie/ getting punched, william schofield/ milk
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. sold to george mackay

Beep! Beep!

“Ugh!” I grunted. “I hate school!” but i got up anyway. I brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, and then put my long black hair into two space buns. I put on an AC/DC t-shirt and black jeans with rips in them and black socks and boots.

I looked fine, I guess.

I got on the bus and ignored all the preps who were staring at me and who didn’t even know AC/DC.

When I got to class, I sat down and pulled out my notebook, but I found myself daydreaming about a different life different world where I didn’t have to deal with all the bullshit.

When it was lunch I sat alone with my lunch.

When the day had finally ended I got on the bus and plugged my headphones in and listened to MCR, wishing there was someone who understood me.

When i got home, i threw my backpack on the couch and called “mom, i’m home!”

“Hi sweetie!! She said.

“Hi mom”

“Sweetie i have some bad news. We have no money and we had to sell you.”

I gasped, tears filling up my eyes. “What, what do you mean you sold me?”

“Hello luv,” came a voice. I turned toward it and gasped loudly. It was george mackay.

I gasped again, sobbing. “Mom how could u!!”

“Hurry up slut” george said. “Ive got to be shooting a movie and i dont have time to wait for you.”

I grabbed my only possession- my phone- and followed him into his car.

“Am i like.. A sex slave” i asked him

“No, your my maid,,” george said. “I have lots of sex slaves”

I gasped, holding my phone tightly.

“What is ur name” george asked. I didnt answer him. I was too angry

“y/n why wont u talk 2 me” george asked sadly. He started to cry

I felt bad. “Omg gkay dont cry” i said, taking his hand. 

“Ily y/n” he said.

I gasped- it was so sudden but… “i love u 2” george i said. 

He looked over at me and then took off my shitr. I pulled his shirt off too. He was so hot. quickly he put his really long thing in me. I gasped. “Omg that feels good” i said.

“I know y/n” he said.

Then he started driving again. I grinned rlly big.

“y/n will u marry me?” he asked

I gasped so loud. “OMG GOERGE!!!!!” i screamed. 

“y/n i'm in love with u please marry me”

“Yes!!!!” i yelled.


	2. got milk??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from the milk's pov

It was a cold day, and I was cold too. I was just thinking about how I was going to curdle soon when I saw him. Hottest man I’d ever seen, and he was  _ coming closer.  _ Omg omg. I had to keep it cool as he kicked the lid off my bucket. I wanted him to drink me so bad. He dipped his hands into me. They were dirty and infected but I didn’t mind- and he pressed me to his lips. His glorious lips drank me down. God, it was amazing. He poured some of me into his canteen, talking to some friend. I only needed one look at the boy he was talking to to know that he was a thot, and he didn’t deserve the more handsome boy. He was a whore and I was pure.

Both of them got distracted, but I called up toward the tall handsome boy. 

“Hey, stud, look down here. I can give you what u deserve,” i told him. He looked down at me. 

“Move me to the house, we’ll talk in private,” i said. “Okay he replied. “Tom ill be right back” he told his slut friend.

“Okay will,” the slut replied. Will. The name of my new lover. Will picked up my bucket and carried me inside.

When we were alone i made some love eyes at the man. “U know u want me” i told him

His friend in the background was runnign from a plane. Good. the heathen deserved it. Will looked up.

“I have 2 go help him.” he said.

“No u dont,” i said. “Stay here with me”

“Ok” will replied. 

In the background, the whore got stabbed. Good again.

“Oh no” will said.

“Let him die. he's not as creamy as i am” i reminded my lover.

“Yeah,, ur so right” will said. He dipped his hand into me


	3. mackenzie the rat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this when i was drunk. it makes no fucking sense. bone apple tea

Mackenzie is mean oldd rat. He is bigtrat. Smelly. he smels bad. tom smells good. will smell like LAVENDER. CHIRSTMAS. he drimk. milk

makenzie rat. only eat stimky cheese yuck yuck

tom says. “mackenzie rat. youre. meanie”

mackenzie says “aaaa? no am not meanie am nice!! am not rat!!”

but he have. rrat face.

tom punch the rat face. WISHKER

it break hsi RAT nose

the endd :33


End file.
